you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
