At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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