I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
