I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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