I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize