just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
