was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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