And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
