ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
