every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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