i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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