My first STD was from a foam party
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
