yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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