Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
