its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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