I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
