So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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