guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
