Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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