His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will be naked everywhere
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
