Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize