in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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