At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
