No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
