Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
