You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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