i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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