can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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