i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Damn victory sex feels great
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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