I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
