Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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