Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
