Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
