The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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