this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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