Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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