I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
