That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
