i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
