I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
