We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
