he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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