FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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