Ambien. No doubt about it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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