Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
