3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
