pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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