Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
