yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
