if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
