I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
