Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize