I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
