i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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