i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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