i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
