to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
