as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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